Duh, so this is an obvious spoof off the movie. I thought it was cute. I just want to clear up that I don’t want to offend ANYONE. This is just my way of telling you whaz up with the bad stuff. I wish to remain anonymous so no one will kill me. For those who design good web sites, you may find that you already know these things, but this can be nice to show your clients, feel free to delete any offensive comments…although I am pretty sure it is all offensive comments.
1. Midi Files
Probably the most annoying things known to the human ear. For those who think they are cool. THEY ARE NOT. People WILL make fun of you if you add that in your site. Chances are EVERYONE will make fun of you. If you must have music in your site, recommend a nice CD for them to listen to while browsing your site. If you add this to a business site, you surely scream, I made this by myself. They are not new technology, they are not “in”. They are NOT professional. Midi Files Suck, sorry to break your heart.
2. POP-Up banners
Although companies such as Geocities and Tripod have nice intentions of offering banner space, I hate them for those AWFUL pop-up banners. Even worse, is closing them, and on every page having to close them. They are distracting, and awful. Ask your internet provider if you get space if you have a personal site, and if you are trying to have a professional biz on these types of site, chances are they are laughing at you. Pay the five bucks and have the site without. If you can’t afford that, then chances are you are in the WRONG biz. Would you give your money to someone who couldn’t afford five dollars a month to ditch the annoying pop-ups to make your life easier? Nothing screams “I am TOTALLY new, and have no experience” than a pop up banner. Again, sorry to break your hearts.
3. Looped Animated Gifs, Scrolling Text and other eyesores
Can I concentrate when I have moving crap all over the place? I am getting pretty dizzy as well as annoyed. Drop the animations, unless you have them custom made by a design firm. Or, if you are a design firm, make sure you stop the GIF after a few spins. Marquees, no one wants to see huge text scrolling across the page. There are a few tasteful marquis that use small fonts and blend into the background of the page. Try to place them at the bottom of the site. The ones that scroll at the bottom of the browser in the status window have GOT TO GO. Eyesore! Try concentrating on a book while your dog is jumping up and down. Same thing on a web site.
4. Stupid Technology
So you know how to find a useless script and get it to work into your site, big deal. If you don’t know what I am talking about, I am talking about annoying Java scripts and other useless scripts that make the page look “cool”. There are a few that come to mind, such as, the rainbow fade effect where your page turns different colors. Another is the “wiper” effect as you change from one page to another it wipes from one to the other in one of ten different psychedelic ways. A third example, is the “Please enter your name here” as I enter a page, and it displays my name (I usually input Damnit) as “welcome, Damnit, you have been to my site 0 times!” Gee, and I am sure that will be the last time I go there as well. My point is, don’t try to impress anyone with the new web technology. Chances are, it isn’t new, and it isn’t cool to everyone. Stick to the basics, you will gain more respect if you keep your site for what is meant to do. GIVING INFORMATION.
5. Browser Problems
This can be very frustrating to a person with a small monitor. Make sure your site is made to fit 640×480 and higher. Nothing is more irritating that having to scroll side to side up to down trying to read everything. Check your site to make sure it looks good in all resolutions. Also do a browser check in AOL, Netscape, and IE. Try different versions.
Author: Gina Hutchings
Copyright Lunar Media Inc
Chicago Web Design